Why, Can’t You Eat?

Chapter 17

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Feeling sorry alone wouldn’t be enough.
Endymion breathed deeply as he thought about how he should answer Ares.
Then, Ares leaned over and grabbed Endymion’s shoulder first, shaking him.

“That maid and my lady are family, right?”

“…Yes, that’s ri—what?”

“I knew it.
Now that I think about it, they do look similar.
I cried so much that my nose was stuffy so I couldn’t smell her… That’s why you kept saying that to me, right? No, wait.
Then is that maid a succubus, too? Or… Are you saying that my lady is not a succubus?”

Endymion tried very much to school his expression from distorting.
This punk is really… He couldn’t express his frustration, but it was fortunate that Ares misunderstood.
After moistening his dry lips, Endymion replied.

“I don’t know the details, but Lily doesn’t really like talking about herself.
So don’t try to force her to answer you.”

“B-But… Can’t we just ask where my lady is?”

“Of course she won’t answer.
No, it’s just good to think that they aren’t related at all.
And I think it’s better not to tell Odil either.”

Ares hesitated at Endymion’s firm voice.
If he thought about it calmly, he knew that what Endymion was saying was full of inconsistencies, but Ares wasn’t in his right mind now.
If he could, he wanted to go to the maid right away and ask her, but when Endymion told him this, all he could do was be sad.

Seeing Ares’ sullen face, Endymion felt bad that he had to lie, but this was the best he could do right now.
And Endymion technically didn’t lie because he wasn’t the one who said that they were family.
This was a good compromise for their friendship, in its own way.

 

❦ ❦ ❦

 

I could feel a persistent, burdensome gaze on me, but whenever I looked back, there would be no one there.
And then when I turned away again, I could feel that same gaze following me once more.
I turn to look behind me again and again, and at one point… I found out that the owner of that persistent gaze was Sir Ares.

When I saw him hiding away in surprise when our eyes met, I instantly got worried.
Does he know that I’m the same succubus? But when I saw him slightly sticking out his head, his expression tearful as though he’s a child who did something wrong, I knew that wasn’t the case.
Why was that person doing something like this?

It went on for days after that.
I only found out why Ares was looking at me like that when Sir Endymion came and kicked him out with a smile on his face.

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”He misunderstood me as a… relative…?”

“It’s my fault.
I got angry because he was talking nonsense in front of me… I’m really, really sorry, Miss Lily.”

Endymion recounted what he said to Ares yesterday, and I soon understood.
There was certainly plenty of room for such a misunderstanding.
It was fortunate that Ares misunderstood it however he wanted, but I was still worried.
Sir Ares was so easy to read even if he’d just sit still, so I didn’t want to get involved with him as much as possible.

Like a habit now, I looked around and spoke to Endymion with a hushed voice.

“Will the Commander keep acting like that…?”

“I already told him not to come, but since he’s like that, he’ll definitely come again.
I really am sorry.”

“Since Commander Fenril cried that much, I hope it’s because he hates me to the point of tears for doing that to him.”

“Ares is… I’m sure he doesn’t dislike, hate you, or feel unfair towards you at all.”

“That’s something I really don’t want to hear though.”

To some extent, I sighed heavily at the expected answer.
Rather, I wanted to be told that I was disliked, hated and loathed because he felt it was unfair for me to have done that.

“You’re not surprised.
Do you already know?”

“He’s so gullible.”

Endymion laughed bitterly.
That person was having a hard time talking to a girl who was curious about the succubus, following a maid who he never talked to before, not knowing she was the same succubus.
I personally hoped this wasn’t true, but alas.

The first thing I thought of was that Ares’ taste in women was terrible.
I can’t believe he likes a pervert who forcefully pounces on him and plays tricks on him just because he didn’t have anyone else he liked… I feel bad for turning a perfectly normal person that way.

I glanced at Sir Endymion who was flipping through some pages indifferently.

“Commander, if Sir Inferno comes back and talks about the ring, can you tell me about it?”

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“Yes, of course.
But will you not turn into a succubus again in the future?”

“As much as possible, yes.
That’s why… I… So, um…”

My voice got smaller and smaller.
It was so embarrassing to ask him such a favor, and I couldn’t speak easily because I knew that I was using the fact that he liked me for this.

“Don’t worry.
You can have me whenever you want.”

Sir Endymion closed the book and said this with a gentle smile.
My face turned red immediately and I bowed deeply.

Damian managed to figure out the location of the ring, but I didn’t know how long it would take to get it back.
I could just wait for the ring, but then if I don’t absorb essence, what happened yesterday could happen again.

The best precautionary measure I could think of was to periodically absorb essence from Endymion, who promised to keep my secret.

“…I’m sorry.
And thank you.”

“You’re welcome anytime.
More than that, Miss Lily, it’s not good to skip meals.”

The conversation could have quickly turned awkward right then, but Endymion replied with a casual expression, a slight wrinkle on his forehead as he pointed out this problem.

It’s not that I’m not eating, but I definitely don’t have much of an appetite these days.
That’s why I ate very little even if I hadn’t eaten that day… I don’t know how he knew that.

With my head tilted to the side, I met Endymion’s eyes, then looked down again to the tip of my shoes.
I know it isn’t polite, but it’s more embarrassing to look at his face than before.
As if making excuses, I continued talking and asked about what I was also curious about.

“Maybe it’s because my mind has been wandering lately, but I don’t have an appetite.
But how do you know me so well, Commander? That I skip meals often, and how much weight I lost from yesterday…”

“Oh, that’s…”

Sir Endymion looked away slightly as he trailed off, his face a little red.
I don’t know why.
Feeling my gaze on him, he smiled with his eyes curled, and he stepped toward me, then whispered right into my ear.

“I know just by looking at you, Miss Lily.”

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Because I like you.

My face heated up at the unsaid words.
I instinctively flinched back and covered my ear.
And when I saw that Endymion continued to smile amiably as if nothing had happened, I couldn’t tell if it was a good idea to have asked him.

I didn’t absorb essence properly yesterday, so I think I’ll have to visit Endymion soon.
Unless I’ve lost my rationality and became aroused, I didn’t intend to take off my own clothes and spread my legs even if I died.
I felt this even strongly now that he knew who I was.

“…What you mentioned yesterday.”

Rubbing my flushed cheeks, I spoke to Endymion.
I couldn’t tell him everything, but I would have to explain the situation in advance because I was worried about it.

“I can’t tell you everything, but whenever I visit the Commanders and absorb your essence, I’m not myself.”

While talking, my face crumpled because I don’t know how I could explain my reason and instinct, but fortunately, Endymion nodded without prying further.
I licked my dry lips, then continued calmly.

“That’s why we have different personalities… I can’t do anything about that.”

“So Miss Lily coming to me in the future won’t be so different from the succubus.
I understand.
Actually, I think I like that side of you, too.
It’s just… I’m a little shy to do that with Miss Lily when I see you every day.”

“……”

This Endymion who was being so shy was also someone foreign to me.
In a way, it seemed great that he could have many relations with different women as if it’s nothing, but now that the woman he likes was coming to him, he’s saying that he couldn’t touch me recklessly.

“Is there anything else you’d like me to do? As I said yesterday, I’m always on your side.”

As he was watching my reaction, he spoke in an incredibly kind voice.
Always on my side… It was a very romantic declaration, but it didn’t excite me.
It’s because I still didn’t know why this person likes me and why he’s doing this for me.

Of course, I know that he isn’t lying, so I don’t feel as uncomfortable as I did with him before.
Even so, I couldn’t help but have mixed feelings.
In this situation, I’m selfish enough to just think about myself until the end, but why did he have to look at me so lovingly?

I hesitated whenever he looked at me with a soft smile on his lips, so I thought hard and asked him honestly.

“Actually, Commander… At night, not only does my personality change, but my body also splits into two, and the other side falls asleep.
Lilith… Oh, that’s what I call myself as a succubus.
I don’t actually know how Lily behaves after she falls asleep, so… if you don’t mind, can I change bodies in your room when I come to absorb essence?”

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“…….”

Endymion had been smiling until now, but when I saw his face harden, I quickly added.

“I’m sorry I keep asking you weird things.
If you feel that it’s too much, it’s okay so…”

“No, I can do whatever you ask me to, Miss Lily.
But…”

Endymion’s eyes were wide as he waved his hand around.
Seeing him blurt it out like that with an awkward expression, I thought I should find another way after all.

I knew it was an awkward request in the first place, so I didn’t mean to ask why he refused.
But I couldn’t help but reevaluate him when Endymion smiled hesitatingly and closed his eyes as he explained.

“…Um, I wouldn’t be able to endure it because I’ll get too excited if I see Miss Lily.
I know you’ll be asleep and I know your body will be separate, but if Miss Lily would be there… Just thinking about being one with Miss Lily…”

“Alright, Commander.
Please forget what I said.”

I decided not to make any more requests like that.

We continued talking a bit more after that, about the other commanders, about stuff not related to succubi, and some other stories.
Sir Endymion offered to have lunch together, but I politely refused.
People were already talking behind our backs, so if we went to the mess hall so openly together, I knew I’d just get indigestion because of the eyes on us.

Endymion also didn’t mind that I refused.
In the afternoon, he told me that he’d be off now because he had something to do.
But with a smile, he said this firmly.

“If Ares comes when I’m not around, you can just ignore him and whatever he tries to say.”

I suddenly recalled him talking about Ares so bitterly, and I smiled back lightly and said I would.

Of course, in reality, I wouldn’t be able to ignore him at all.
Sir Ares was a nobleman before he was a commander of a knight order, and I was only a maid working in this palace.

Still, I answered positively as if there would be no problem because I thought that Sir Endymion would come again.

But the problem was that… Ares was a more reckless person than we thought.