Tattoo

Xiao Ke walked in from the patio while carrying a watering can.
“The God of Sleep has awoken?” 

“Fuck, I didn’t know it was eleven o’clock.
I thought it was only seven or eight o’clock.” Fang Qimao rubbed his eyes.
“Why did you let me sleep on the couch again? I don’t understand you anymore.
There’s obviously a room for me, why the couch?”

Xiao Ke put down the watering can and said, “I’m afraid you’ll throw up on the bed, and then I’ll have to wash it.”

“That’s logical,” Fang Qimao said as he stepped into his slippers so he could empty his bladder in the bathroom.
“Then you should be glad I didn’t throw up.
If I had really thrown up, you could wash the sheets, but would you be able to wash your couch if I throw up? Were you going to take it apart?”

“I ain’t taking apart a damn thing.” Xiao Ke smirked at him.
“I was eager for you to throw up on it so I could get a new one.” 

Fang Qimiao spoke while peeing, “So you were waiting for me to come here.”

Xiao Ke had in fact only been awake for a short while, but he was so sleep-deprived that it was past ten o’clock when he ended up opening his eyes.
He didn’t bother to make breakfast, so he directly ordered takeout and the two of them had just finished cleaning up when it was delivered.

Fang Qimao ate youtiao as he chatted with Xiao Ke, and he asked him if the project was finished.

Xiao Ke replied that it was almost there.

The two of them hadn’t seen each other for a while since Xiao Ke couldn’t get away from his experiments which made him busy like a dog every day while Fang Qimao who was an idle person in a government-owned enterprise was living in style.
He said to Xiao Ke, “Why are you doing this? I told you to start a company with me, but you didn’t want to.
You had to go on to become a stupid teacher.
What was the point of it?”

“All I’m able to do is experiment, so I would only be able to start a ghost of a company with you.” Xiao Ke expressionlessly sipped his soy milk.
“You’ve developed yourself fine, and I’ll rely on you if I run out of food.”

“I’m not going to do shit, but my dad is pressuring me to go back to the company every day, and he’s also pressuring me to get married.” Fang Qimao said with a frown on his face.
“The last two years have not been like the olden days.
It sucks.”

Xiao Ke could not intervene on this topic, because he did not have any of these problems.
Although he was not of young age, his family would not force him to marry.
He could only silently drink his soy milk, and said after a while, “Or you can also come out of the closet to your family.”

“Fuck, can I live after that?” Fang Qimao shuddered when he thought about the potential consequences.
“Do I not want these legs anymore? My father would kill me.
Besides, I’m not the same as you.”

Xiao Ke nodded, “Yeah.”

“I’m not…It doesn’t have to be a guy, I love pretty girls too.
I just haven’t had enough fun yet.
I hope that day will come later on when I’ve had enough and I’m ready to get married.”

Xiao Ke did not know what to say, so he did not say anything more.
Fang Qimiao asked him what he was planning on doing tomorrow.
Xiao Ke said nothing.　

“Then will you walk with me to the street?” Fang Qimao asked him.

“No, thank you,” Xiao Ke couldn’t help but laugh.
“Two gays walking the street will burn their eyes.
Are you my little sister?”

“That’s funny, who can tell that we’re two gays when we go out? I am more manly and you are more handsome ah, and it’s not like we’re  going shopping to buy clothes or do our nails, right? I need to find a fucking place to get a tattoo.”

Xiao Ke raised his eyebrows.
“Who wants a tattoo? You?”

“Yeah, me.” Fang Qimao said, “I asked a few people to introduce me to a place, but all the fuckin’ waitlists are for months later, and I don’t know why there are so many tattoos happening now, but they are all just piling up.
Some of the famous people have to make an appointment in advance, and I don’t want to make a fucking appointment, I want it tomorrow.
Let’s walk the street and if we see any stores, we will go in.
It doesn’t matter if the tattoo is good or bad anyway, I can’t see it so others won’t see it.”

Xiao Ke asked him, “Where are you planning to tattoo where no one, including yourself, can see it?”

Fang Qimao lowered his head to snicker for half a day before he looked up and said, “Tattoo on my butt.
I want a tattoo of a doge dog, or a cute dog head.
I’ll give a [doge] to anyone who wants to fuck me when we’re dating, and I’ll let him shrivel up from taunts until I can fuck him.”

“…” Xiao Ke opened his mouth but didn’t know what to say.
Sometimes, he really couldn’t understand Fang Qimao’s thought process.
He was not called this name for no reason since he was in fact originally called Fang Simu, but he himself had changed his name because he thought it sounded too fanciful.

“Even I think it’s very bizarre.
Pretty interesting though, right?” Fang Qimiao stood up after eating and said, “If you won’t accompany me, then I’ll go walk around by myself.
But I’m scared that my butt will hurt after the tattoo.
If I walk around while holding onto my butt, I’ll look too feminine.”

Xiao Ke finished the last of his soy milk before clearing the boxes and the paper bag off of the table.
He grabbed a napkin and wiped his mouth before he said, “A tattoo artist, right? I know one.”

Fang Qimiao was slightly surprised.
“When did you know one? Why haven’t I heard about it?”

Xiao Ke looked at him and smiled, “The day before yesterday.
An encounter with a beauty.”

“The…fuck?” Fang Qimiao blinked.

Xiao Ke blinked at him as he said, “We drank together.”

“Has Master Xiao become a stray monk? Is he not staying at his school being a monk anymore? After drinking…he went for a round?” Fang Qimao was still a bit confused, as this word that came from Xiao Ke’s mouth was really a mind-blowing one.
“What kind of person, ah?”

Xiao Ke once again remembered that man who said his name was “Zhou Zui, Zui for sin.” The person who said that, took the cigarette out of his mouth before he threw it away, but at that time, the cigarette bounced on the ground.

Xiao Ke cocked an eyebrow and smiled as he said, “A really cool one…Looking at him makes me feel comfortable.”

Translator Notes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojPohyTqnGE