Resetting Lady

Father, I mean.
To be honest with you, it’s all very… I feel skeptical about all this.
For a temporary emotion like that to make my life… for one hundred years…”

Carynne couldn’t help but down the alcohol in her glass.
She was getting more emotional in this life.

“It’s so abstract and vague, Father.”

“How can love be vague? What will save you is absolute faith and true love.”

Shut up.

“Father, you’re not me.
If you’ve got a hole in your head for all of one hundred years, too—if you’ve been killed by all sorts of things, too, then I’m sure it would be difficult for you to say that.”

“……”

“It’s hard.
One hundred years, Father.
There’s a limit to the people just one person could meet.
Tell me, is there someone who could date, build a relationship and even get married in less than a year? I’ve ended up with Sir Raymond a couple of times, and if he’s not my supposed match, then what am I supposed to do now?”

“Find true love.”

“What if my true love is beyond the White Mountain Range, dying from a stray bullet? If not that, what if my true love is a street bum who’s out on the pavement, sick and dying? I’m not even really sure if I’ve read the novel.”

Who was the man destined for her? If the cause here was a lack of love, then who else should she meet? But the men who she had met before were far inferior to Raymond.

“Is the intensity of love the problem? Those people I met before, did they not love me the way you loved Mother? …I’m curious, really.”

She wondered, why was it that Mother’s love was Father.
And how much did Father love Mother?

The fief lord watched Carynne’s fingers as they tightened over the champagne glass, her knuckles going white.
Then, he opened his lips again.

“Then the only way I can help you is…”

Carynne looked up to face the fief lord as he spoke.
She was expressionless.

“Please show me proof of your love,” she said.

“How?”

“If you truly believe, if you truly love, then you would not be afraid of death.
Once I die again, you’ll come back to life, Father.
And even if you really do die, you shouldn’t be scared of anything.
After all, you’ll be able to see her.”

“…Ah.”

“Of course, the extent of it… It’s for the sake of confirmation.
If you refuse to do this, then there’s nothing I can do.”

Carynne shrugged.

“With all the servants in the manor along with Dullan, I won’t be able to force you if you waver.”

She looked into the fief lord’s gray eyes, and in those eyes was the reflection of his daughter’s face, the exact mirror image of his wife.

“But whatever you choose, I’ll be able to confirm it.
The extent of your love, Father.”

Carynne lifted the empty glass.
Some distance away, a servant came forward and refilled the glass.
The lord also raised his own glass.
At that corner of the hall, the father and daughter raised their glasses for a toast.

“Ah, I knew it.
Everything tastes so much better without the drugs.
Dullan, that terrible jerk.”

“Don’t be so hard on him.
It was all for your sake.”

“But what he did was too much.
There must have been a couple times that I died from overdose.
And I don’t like it because I’ve had a taste of gourmet food elsewhere.”

“Which place do you like the most?”

“Outside the novel… What, wrong answer?”

He looked troubled.

“Why don’t you choose one from here?”

“Sir Raymond’s head chef is magnificent.
He’s called Mister Cray, and he’s bald, you know.
Oh, but he hasn’t been hired yet, he’ll come in after three months.”

“Is that so.”

As she continued to chatter, Carynne noticed that the fief lord was staring blankly at the silverware on the table.

“Um, this is a trivial warning, but… It’s difficult to use a knife like that.
I’ve tried it before.”

“That—I wasn’t thinking of using this.”

The fief lord averted his gaze, perhaps a little embarrassed.

“It can be a little scary at first.
I wasn’t used to it either and I failed several times.
Never try to slit your wrists.
You’re going to have to cut into your wrist until you’re halfway through to make it work, and when you’re really about to die, it just feels so cold… until you die.”

Carynne turned her head.
She couldn’t hold back the peal of laughter bubbling up inside her.

The fief lord just raised his glass again.
He didn’t know whether he should smile or not.