Reborn as his Shadow
In the dark and damp forest, underneath the tall trees that covered the sky, Mo Jingxuan was floating in midair, looking down at a man who was kneeling on rotten leaves while clutching a bone.
The man seemed to still be as silent as the last time he had seen him so long ago, but his face was no longer as Mo Jingxuan remembered.
At this moment, the man was as still and somber as if he were dead, lacking any glimpse of emotion that the living hold claim to.
Gazing at him, Mo Jingxuan felt an indescribable sourness in his heart.
At this moment, he wished desperately that his soul could cry…how much he wished that he could sob, even if he was a man, as long as, as long as he could release these regrets from his heart…let him do as he liked.
It has been nearly three years since he has been trapped in this desolate place without reincarnation or dissipation.
But even after such lengths of time, the man still found him.
The last bone that was left was still recognized.
“Xiao…” Mo Jingxuan slowly floated towards the man, the violent emotions in his body causing the state of his soul to fluctuate drastically.
He reached out to touch the man’s sunken cheek and watched as it met with no resistance, penetrating through his skin.
Even so, Mo Jingxuan still caressed the man’s face over and over again, not caring that he was unable to touch him, “Xiao…go back…go back…”
The wind blew through the leaves, rustling them and mixing the sound with Mo Jingxuan’s inner call, feeling as distant as a mirage, a dream that would never be reached.
The man, still with his head down, suddenly looked up, staring blankly at the sky as a trace of uncertainty flashed in his eyes, “Is that you, Jingxuan?” The few people gathered not far away looked on with sadness as they watched him call the name, resigned to the madness that had befallen him.
“He’s already dead….” A woman muttered slowly.
“Jingxuan…” The man bowed his head in disappointment when the answer he was wishing for didn’t come, and his face submerged back into the shade.
“Go back…live well…go back…” Mo Jingxuan called out in his heart repeatedly, hoping without hope that his voice would reach just once.
The breeze blew slowly, taking the words Jingxuan whispered to the man, “Go back…live well….”
The man raised his head once more.
This time, he was sure, it was so clear! “Jingxuan, are you there?” His voice was hoarse and cautious, as if any louder would scare away the presence he had finally found.
“Go back…go back…live well…” Jingxuan’s words rang once more, this time for everyone to hear.
But in contrast to the delight shown in the man’s eyes, shivers ran down their arms.
The man piously peered into the sky, his indifferent eyes almost appearing wet with tears, “Jingxuan, come back with me, okay? I can fix you, we have better medicine now, and I won’t lock you up anymore! I’ll even lock myself up, you don’t need to worry about me going out of control again…and you can go wherever you want.
Okay? Just so long as, as long as you promise to come back to me…you can go wherever you want.
No, no! You can only stay by my side, you can’t leave! You can’t leave my side, never leave my side! You can’t leave, you can’t leave, I won’t let you leave, do you hear me?!”
The forest was quiet and still, the only movement the rustling of the leaves as if to taunt him, as if everything was just one more hallucination.
Xiao Ying kept talking, his agitation growing while his voice shrank until gradually, there was nothing left.
He looked blankly at the bone clutched in his arms until reality sank back in, “I killed you, I killed you….” As he spoke to himself, the man could no longer keep control and let out a painful roar as he held the bone to his face.
Transparent liquid ran down his jaw, soaking the bone without regard to its importance to him, his arms doing little to hide it from his feelings.
“Xiao…forgive you, I forgive you….” The way the man writhed in pain shocked Mo Jingxuan, but the only words he managed to squeeze out were left unheard, unable to reach the delirious man.
If only they could touch…
How he wished they could hug, even if just for a second, to be able to give his comfort.
Even at the cost of turning to ashes, he was willing…afterall, he was meant to have left long ago.
The cries slowly subsided, Xiao Ying raising his head to devoutly brush the bone with his fingertips before bringing them to his lips, a bitter smile stretching across his face.
“Heh… Jingxuan, look, even after you’ve died I still want to take you home and lock you to my side.
Do you think I’m really sick, eh?” Not caring that his question was left unanswered, or perhaps never hoping for an answer, Xiao Ying continued, “I agree that I am sick…You should hate me, right? My behavior is obviously something you should loathe more than anything.
It’s okay though, just like before, you can beat me.
Vent out all your anger.
As long as you don’t leave, you can do whatever you want to me.”
Everything was still again for a few minutes before he madly clutched the bone in his arms.
He stabbed ruthlessly at his cheek, the edge of the bone tearing apart the flesh easily.
Blood dripped down, showing easily how much strength was used and the pain that must be felt, but the man seemed immune to it all, still crazily tearing at his face.
Noticing that Xiao Ying was not in the right condition, one of the group behind called out, “Tranquilizer!! Hurry, hurry up! He is out of control!”
Xia Qifan anxiously rummaged through his backpack, grabbing a syringe, “Found it!” In the small glass bottle, the syringe was filled instantly and he slowly began to approach Xiao Ying.
“Ahh…” The man’s appearance stimulated Mo Jingxuan into holding his head and rolling in pain in the air.
His memories were playing on repeat; the days of his confinement, how he was constantly possessed….The days turned into nights and back to days until all sense of time was lost back then, but he was never stripped of his consciousness.
No, the man always let him fight and resist wildly.
Until he was exhausted and left with no choice but to accept his fate…
It was strange; during those years of torture, he was never hurt, except for the unspeakable place, but other than that, he was kept safe from everything, including himself.
On the other side, the man was always in pain, bruised with broken bones every day they met.
He used to hate it, refusing to see Xiao Ying at all costs.
Only after he left did he truly understand how much Xiao Ying loved him, but it was too late.
Everything was too late.
“Ah…” Mo Jingxuan wailed as he trembled in pain, until he disappeared into nothingness.
It was as if he had never been there from the beginning.
Down below, the man holding onto his bone was completely mad at the same time.
His face was dripping with blood and the wounds he had created were deep enough to puncture the cheek completely, allowing for those around him to see through the gaping holes.
He mindlessly repeated his motions, continuing to stab himself again and again, until a long, thin needle was stuck into his neck.
His eyes slowly closed against his will, the weight of them multiplied as if to represent his grief.
His body collapsed onto the person preparing behind him, but the grip kept on the bone was as tight as ever, as if it was the lifeblood connecting him to this world.
The blood dripping from the man melted onto the bone little by little, and it was dyed an uncanny red.
No one noticed as it grew brighter, seeming almost as if it were alive.
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