No, It was My Fault for Loving You

Chapter 40 : Nowadays

“Nata, lia…?”

Edgar doubtfully asked back.

Then he too looked out the window.

“She…”

With that line, Beatrice realized that Edgar has also been told the complete story of her regressions by Rembrandt.

“…I see.”

Edgar muttered something, then the carriage had come to a complete stop.

Then the coachman said, “excuse me,” as if he was asking a question.

But neither of them could say anything yet, only silence fell.

The rainfall is getting heavier and heavier.

The small roof did not provide much shelter from the rain, and perhaps it was chilly, so Natalia rubbed her arms as she held her body with her entire luggage.

“Um, Edgar-sama.”

Squeezing the courage out of her, Beatrice turned her gaze to him.

“May I bring her to the carriage?”

“…”

“She’s going to catch a cold if I don’t.
I want to take her home.”

“…are you sure?”

Edgar gently held Beatrice’s hand.

“Ren already told me as well.
She’s…”

“She was my friend… now we’re just classmates.
But, I…”

“Artie.”

“She was my one and only best friend.”

Now it’s different, though.

Somehow that fact makes me very sad, even after all this time.

“…okay.”

After muttering only that, Edgar opened the door.

“Artie, wait here.
You mustn’t get wet.”

With these words, he ran toward Natalia across the street in the pouring rain.

“Ah…”

From the door, which was left ajar, Beatrice watched as Natalia and Edgar talked.

A little later, they came running in the rain to the carriage.

“Natalia, sama”

With her previous memories, she was about to call her by her name, so she hurriedly added the honorific title at the end.

“Lady Strydom… Thank you for your kindness.”

But the words uttered by Natalia when she reached the carriage were far more distant than what Beatrice had called her.

That is no surprise.
Beatrice and Natalia have only spoken a few times during the last two and a half years at the academy.

In fact, it would be the correct etiquette for Beatrice to call her by her family name, Olsen.
In this case, they are only acquaintances.

This was only natural in reality.
But she felt heartbroken and disgusted at herself after he led her personally into the carriage.

“Lady Olsen.
You’re soaking wet.
Please put this underneath.”

“Thank you very much.
It was helpful.
I’m in trouble because the rain just gets worse.
If this gentleman didn’t tell me that he was acquainted with Lady Strydom, I would have been stuck as I was.”

Edgar, who had been sitting across from her, moved next to Beatrice and sat across from Natalia.

Natalia was carrying a large paper bag in her arms.
It too was wet and about to be torn.

“Na… was Lady Olsen out shopping or something?”

“Yes.”

A little embarrassed, Natalia nodded.

“Vegetables and fruit and some meat for… well, for dinner tonight.”

“Oh, dear.”

No wonder she looked embarrassed.

Natalia, even if she was a daughter of a Viscount, had gone shopping for dinner as if she was a servant.

But neither Beatrice nor Edgar dared to poke at that.
As she nodded silently, Natalia continued to speak.

“We are… poor, so we do most of the things ourselves.
Still, we had one maid who usually went shopping for us…”

Sadness was added to her embarrassing expression, and Beatrice was involuntarily dragged by her memory and almost grasped her hand, but stopped in the air.

Edgar was silently watching them as if observing them.

“The maid left suddenly this morning and has not returned.”

“…you’re worried about her.
I hope she comes back soon.”

“No.”

Natalia shook her head at the words of comfort she had unintentionally spoken.

“Nora… I’m sure that maid will never come back.”

“Eh?”

“Yeah, surely never again.”

When Natalia said this sadly, Beatrice recalled a conversation they once had.

— “Everyone is leaving me before I know it.”

— “Every time I had it, every time I found it, I lost it.
My friends, my precious things, my hopes, my dreams, everything.
Yes, all this time.”

— “I was empty.”

Is this… too?

And the maid suddenly disappeared?

I don’t know.
It could just be a coincidence, though.

Right in front of Beatrice.

Natalia held her baggage with a smile while looking absent-minded.

This time, Natalia talks like this with such a look on her face, even to Beatrice, who is merely an acquaintance.

She looked terribly distressed and lonely, and Beatrice felt a pang of pain in her chest.

I decided to stay away this time because I knew it would interfere with your happiness.

I don’t want you to have to make that choice again.
I don’t want to see you cry like that.

All, all because I loved Leopold, I thought.

That was just the beginning.

But then I learned about Alejandro’s dark side.

But, that being said, it was already too late.

I don’t even know what to do with myself after all this time.

Either way, I always find that I’m not much help.

It was true then and remains true today.

…

After that, no one opened their mouths.

Silence reigned over the place, and soon the carriage arrived in front of the Olsen residence, the place Natalia had told about.

“…thank you very much.
I’m sorry I wet the seat.”

“No, then, Lady Olsen.
I’ll see you at the academy after vacation.”

“Yes.
See you at the academy.”

Carrying a paper bag that is about to be torn, Natalia walks into the house.

Beatrice and Edgar looked quietly behind her.