I’m Done Being Your Best Friend

Not once have I ever said something like this before.
For the first time in my life, vile words escaped my mouth, which was trained only to speak words of pleasantries and elegance.

I knew quite well that it's not something that a lady from a Marquis House should dare say, but I wanted to say this⁠ to Daisy—words that I couldn't deliver because I'd died of illness right before I could utter them.

“Si, sienna…? Y, you're saying something to me right now?….”

Daisy stared at me with a perplexed expression, perhaps unable to grasp what her ears just heard.
I kindly repeat my words to her without cussing this time.

“I said you're a wicked girl.
Why so?”

It seemed that Daisy was still speechless.
Ah, forget it.
I didn't intend to delay this action any further after knowing her real heart, so I will act like what she claimed me to be—a brute. 

 

I stretched my hand out to grab Daisy's hair and pulled it hard. Her lustrous blonde hair had caught in my fingers.
I should've done this before.

“Kyaaa!”

“If that's what you thought of me, you should have had shut your mouth till the end.
What's the point of saying that to a dying person? Did my reactions look funnier to you after you let me know that you've ruined my life? Tell me!”

 

“Sienna! What's the meaning of this?!”

Daisy screamed as she attempted to extricate herself from my grip but without success.
Even if she pleaded, I had no intention of letting her go.

“What did I do wrong? I never had any ill will towards you!”

Everything that she'd said before left me with a painful scar.
The pain that I've felt seemed much worse than the pain of discovering my husband's infidelities.

The more I think about the things she said, the more I resent her.
This is what you call a friend? I clenched my teeth and shook her head violently.
Let's fight then!

 

“……”

“Sienna……? Hello? What are you thinking about right now?”

With a tap on my shoulder from Daisy, I quickly came back to my senses.
I didn't realize I was staring at her for a long time, lost in thoughts.

Despite the things that happened in the past, I couldn't just attack her on a whim.
How could I retaliate when she hasn't done anything yet? Oh, how I wanted to jump down her throat and tear her to pieces right this instance, but I could only put up with it for now.

What a pity.
I looked at her with a dejected expression and sighed.

“Sienna, you're so strange today.
You're a little……you don't look alright.”

Daisy said as she carefully patted my head with a puzzled face.
It was a gesture that seemed to tell that my mind has an abnormality.

Is that what you're trying to say? That I'm crazy?

 

I scoffed inwardly.
I decided to let it go as calmly as I could, even though deep down, I was seething.

“I'm fine.
I'm alright.
So please, you should go back today.”

I needed time to reorganize my thoughts.
Because I came back to the past without knowing what's going on, so I don't know where to start….
only a deep sigh came out.

Am I supposed to live like that again? Will I be able to handle it if all those painful incidents repeat in this life?

It wouldn't be so fair to go through another situation in which I married that man who almost became Daisy's husband, and that my family had collapsed, and I will die of illness.

What did I do wrong to go through this ordeal the second time? 

 

It was when I was thinking hard about whether there was any way to overcome this situation that an idea came to mind.

“Ah……!”

You don't have to live the same way you did then, do you?

Things that happened in the past are the future in this period, so maybe I can prevent the same thing from happening again.
Then I'll be able to live a proper life this time.

This is a heaven-sent opportunity, indeed!

Thinking so, my heart had swelled with hope ere long.
Was this how one should feel as if almost fell into hell yet miraculously went to heaven? I even had the vision that my life had already turned around.

I clenched my fist.
I will never live like a beggar anymore.
I'm no longer her best friend.

 

Daisy was able to choose me because, in her eyes, I'm too weak.
I realized that the reason why there's no discord between us was that I had been a subject to her whims.
She would skillfully lead me around, and I would be too ignorant to complain.

Is that normal between friends? She didn't really think of me as a friend in the first place.
There's no doubt that she would trick me again in the future.

However, I had the advantage since I came back with all my memories in the past.
Therefore, there's no reason to be deceived by Daisy's back-stabbing and duplicitous behavior anymore.

This is the time that I needed the resolve to be as prudent as possible and repel, as hard as I could, any of Daisy's schemes. 

 

Daisy, who had just left the room, came back in a few minutes and asked.

“Oh, Sienna.
Didn't you say that the trip to Marquisate of Nelson is today?”
 

“Marquisate?”

“Yes.
We were supposed to go there together.”

Marquisate……? Daisy's words were familiar.
It was a long time ago, so I couldn't remember it entirely, but I vaguely recalled some of it.

That's right.
Around this time of the year, I went on a trip with Daisy to my family's territory outside the capital.

Of course, in my past life, I fell from the tree and ended up with an injured arm.
The arm broke because of the wrong landing.
Fortunately, in this life, I was left unscathed.

But that was the time when Daisy and I promised to go together to my paternal family's estate.

Supposedly, I should have rested at Nelson Manor in the capital to recuperate, but it was Daisy who purely couldn't sit still.

“I've been looking forward to this trip with Sienna…….”

Looking at those hopeful eyes lingering on that angelic face, how can someone just turn her down? Her expression says it all—she simply wants to go with me and nothing else.

I had that thought back when I was merely an 18-year-old naive girl.
Since my legs were fine, I couldn't find any reason to refuse her.
But then again, I would have gone with her even if both of my legs had broken.

Why I, a Marquis' daughter, would have such difficulty in turning down Daisy, who was a Count's daughter, had my own reasons.

First of all, our family had a long history, yet we aren't very influential amongst the aristocrats.
Though a Marquis was two ranks higher than a Count, in terms of properties, Daisy's family was more prosperous than mine.

And finally, there was a reason why I had no choice but to rely on her.
To know this, we have to go back to my first encounter with her.