Chapter 86: The choice is yours

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Read the translation only on itsladygrey.wordpress.com.

“Why does that jerk keep messing around with you?”

“I wonder about that too… Anyway, you endured it well.”

Sigren replied nonchalantly.
“This is the second time I almost broke his wrist after the last time.”

Woah, I couldn’t tell if that was a joke or not.
But first, we should go to Sigren’s palace because that was the closest place.
Also, we didn’t want to run into that crown prince again. 

I glanced at Sigren.
“Are you mad?”

“That is what I want to ask you.”

I wanted to say ‘I’m not’ but I stopped before the words came out of my mouth.
I remembered the situation when I ran out earlier.
Did I look angry from Sigren’s point of view?

“Fiona.”

When he reached out his hand, I flinched subconsciously.

“….”

Sigren immediately withdrew his hand. 

I could really tell that he paid attention to each and every one of my reactions.
This sight of him made me feel weird again.

“Didn’t you say you think this and that when you see me?”

He looked unhappy.

“When you say it like that, I feel like I’m a piece of garbage who only wants your body.”

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So, were my feelings your goal? But I didn’t have to voice this because the second that question was in my mind, I had my answer just by looking at him.

Sigren backed away and didn’t come closer to me. 

Dammit, what a fucking romantic. 

He was young, with a lot of allure and appeal, but why was he like someone who would hang themselves just because a woman rejected him? 

I didn’t have the confidence to face him now.

“Fiona, I don’t know how to treat you.”

“Do you also have that kind of concern?”

“You sometimes have great faith in me in the strangest situations.”

Well, it was because he was the male protagonist.
I just thought he wouldn’t be troubled in terms of the romance department.
In fact, it was like that in the novel.
So, where did the specs I gave him go?

“You know that.
I grew up within a rough mercenary, then in Heilon, where the environment is basically the same.
So in my head, I couldn’t help but to keep wondering whether the way I treat the woman I like is proper when I am just raised that way.”

Sigren continued.

“It was fine when I was friends with you, but now..
I mean, if you don’t like what I do, just hit me.”

He was also thinking this, too. 

Ah, thinking about what I did earlier, I have realized that I acted emotionally, totally losing my cool. 

‘I felt guilty staying still like this, even more when it could hardly be said that we’ve fought earlier.’

I bit my lip and walked closer to Sigren. 

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“Sigren, bend down a bit.”

He leaned forward without asking why.
And this whole time his hands remained behind his back.
What a conscientious man. 

I grabbed Sigren’s collar.
Then I lightly pressed my lips to his neck.
I could feel the gentle pulse pulsing through my skin.

“….”

Sigren stopped breathing as if he had received an unexpected attack.

Well, the neck was a human’s key vital point, so it could be counted as an attack right? 

But regardless of the reaction, I lightly bit him.
My teeth lightly scratched his skin.
I thought I was going to bite a soft thing because it was the neck, but when I did it, it was not. 

‘Well, there are muscles in the neck too.’

I tried sucking the skin, but because of the unexpected toughness, it wasn’t easy to do that so I let go of my bite quickly.

“Fiona…” Sigren growled and called my name softly.
But he still didn’t put even one finger on me. 

I stared at the mark that I had just made.
The traces were lighter than I thought.
I wondered if it would come off soon. 

“Alright, with this, we’re even.
You also don’t have to worry anymore.”

“Is this a new type of bullying?” He asked earnestly.

“Does it hurt?”

“In some sense.”

I felt like I had done a pretty daring thing.
Even so, Sigren’s swaying eyes were pleasing to see.
Lately, I’ve been feeling so embarrassed because of him, so I felt like things were a bit unfair. 

“Can I kiss you?” Sigren asked abruptly while still staring at me.

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I laughed softly.
“No.”

“Ha..
I think I would rather be beaten by you.”

Right, be as restless as you can be. 

Feeling relieved, I smiled softly.

“Be patient.”

“….”

Seeing his agitated look, I had to admit that I really did have a bad personality.
I couldn’t help but really like seeing the changing expressions on his face, seeing him in joy and agitation, in alternation.

‘Ah, I’m so mean.’

Eunice most likely wasn’t like this.

Lover, lover.

It wouldn’t be bad, that was what I thought.
And if Sigren’s passion for me cooled down, we could just break up.

‘Are you sure?’

Yeah.., it would be okay.
I still strongly believed I won’t ever have that kind of love with him or have more than what we have now.
In fact, I honestly didn’t think I would ever be in love with someone else.
Even if I agreed to have a relationship with someone else, it would be the same.
However, one thing for sure, I cared about Sigren the most in this world. 

It just scared me to give my heart fully to someone.
Especially because this new development didn’t flow in accordance with the original novel.
What should I do when this relationship finally collapses and I’ve already drowned in that kind of feeling?

‘Coward.’

Right.
I was a coward.
I didn’t have the confidence to make Sigren happy, and I had no confidence to fully believe in his sincerity. 

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I didn’t know if I would ever overcome this cowardice.
So, I just felt like it would be better to be moderate in this relationship, and then when he wanted to break up, we could do it neatly.
It would be good for me, and even better for Sigren.

“Sigren, you really have no eyes for women.”

“No way.”

He should have known about my cowardice.

“I didn’t raise you as a child with such a low standard…”

“My standard is high….
You really don’t know about yourself, do you?”

It was pretty sweet talk. 

As a token of my gratitude, I placed my cheek lightly on his cheek and whispered, “I love you the most.”

Then I slowly retreated.
“Always remember that.”

Sigren looked at me.
His eyes were burning. 

I smiled as usual. 

“I’m leaving.
Good night, Sig.”

Before the door closed, I heard his voice asking me softly.

“Other than about me, what is truly your happiness?”

“I don’t know.”

I forgot about it when I came to this world.
I didn’t remember what I wanted.
Not knowing that might be my biggest problem.
Maybe. 

Tak, I closed the door.

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