Don’t Be a Kept Man

“I’m going to tell you a secret.
This is not a normal pendant.
It’s a magical heavenly weapon.”

At that, Xie Yu Zhi turned his head to look at him and stared at those clear, dark, and beautiful eyes.
It seemed like his eyes were cherry blossoms blooming open, enticing and seductive.
Just like the person himself; the more you look at him, the more you feel like he was not real.

He leaned forward to press down on Chen Miao Ping’s lips.
Xie Yu Zhi said prim and properly,

“A gentleman does not believe in magic.”

Which just meant that he does not believe it.

Chen Miao Ping reached out as if to take it back, 

“Return it back to me if you don’t believe in it.”

In one swift motion, Xie Yu Zhi had already tied the pendant onto his waist, 

“I do.”

Chen Miao Ping hooked a meaningful smile on his face.
He signalled for the maids to leave and lurched forward to wrap his arms around Second Master Xie’s thin waist.
He pulled at the pendant tied by the waist and said, 

“Do you want to make a bet? If I can prove that this is a weapon of magic, you will let me do to you as I wish.
If I can’t prove it, you can do with me whatever you want.”

And then promised, 

“You want to do whatever, you can do whatever.
I will absolutely not take revenge.”

 

Xie Yu Zhi wanted to say that even though you want to hit back, you can’t win over me.
But he didn’t want to make Chen Miao Ping angry so he swallowed back those words,

“How are you going to prove it? Find an evil spirit and brandish your weapon of ‘heavenly magic’ at it?”

“I found a succubus6 right here to shine this on.”

Chen Miao Ping held Xie Yu Zhi’s hand and then shined the pendant on his knuckles.
The wrinkles on the skin could be easily seen, 

“Hu hu hu, Second Master’s hand is full of scars and injuries hmm.”

A pair of hands with clear bone structure; each finger long and thin, but each held strength.
On the other side, his palm was covered in calluses and scars.

“Who is not injured if they practice martial arts?”

Xie Yu Zhi’s eyes narrowed, and he seemed to realize the specialty of the crystal pendant.
From his waist, he untied it and looked at it more closely.
He was shocked to find that no matter how small something could be, as long as he used the pendant to shine over it, it would be magnified a lot in a second.
It was very strange but quite extraordinary.

He played with it for a while before he could finally stop himself.
His dark black eyes looked back at Chen Miao Ping and pulled on his sleeve, asking, 

“How did you do it?”

“Then have you lost or have you won?” 

Chen Miao Ping looked at him solemnly.

Second Master Xie could put down his pride for his husband.
His dark solemn eyes on his face, that looked so delicate and gentle, had a flash of laughter fly by, 

“I lost.
Tell me now.”

Chen Miao Ping slowly and leisurely popped open a melon seed under Xie Yu Zhi’s eyes.
He patted and dusted his hands as he said, 

“The bet had no rules saying that I must tell you the secret.
So don’t put this on your mind.
Instead of dwelling on this, shouldn’t you be worried? Worried about what I am going to do with you?”

Xie Yu Zhi was really curious and his heart felt as if it was being scratched by a cat.
His body leaned on Chen Miao Ping and said, 

“The value is only to magnify the item.
It can’t be considered a magical heavenly weapon.”

Chen Miao Ping cushioned his hands behind his head, looking quite like a rascal before shamelessly saying, 

“Then I lost.
Do what you want.
You can do as you will with me.”

Xie Yu Zhi did want to throw him on the ground and beat him up for once.
Instead, he threw the scroll, with the Emperor’s orders, that he had been holding at Chen Miao Ping, wanting to provoke him in some way, 

“The Imperial Palace sent someone today to pass this on.
His Majesty has appointed you to be the new City Warden Inspector.
You must take up the position tomorrow.”

“What?” 

Chen Miao Ping raised his eyebrows and sat up noisily, 

“His Majesty appointed me to a ranked official position?”

Xie Yu Zhi was sitting on Chen Miao Ping’s legs and was almost thrown off.
He reached out to push him back down, 

“Hmm.
Sixth rank.”

Chen Miao Ping sat back up, 

“For what?”

Xie Yu Zhi continued to push him back down, 

“It can be considered as part of the Chief Surveillance Bureau, inspecting the streets of the city every day.
In charge of managing safety and security, catching thieves and looking for criminals on the run, those kinds of things.”

Chen Miao Ping thought in his heart that the Emperor wouldn’t be that good to him, and the moment he heard Xie Yu Zhi’s explanation, that was all the proof he needed.
Indeed, there was no way such a good thing could fall onto his lap, 

“Isn’t that managing the streets?”

Xie Yu Zhi knew approximately what the Emperor was thinking, 

“……Most of it.
But it’s not a lot.
Everyday you just have to walk around.
The tasks are pretty simple and easy.”

Chen Miao Ping did not mind if the position was high or not.
He was only thinking, does this count as being a kept man if he accepted this?

[ Ding! ]

The system jumped out at the perfect time.

[ This position is not considered to be in the criteria.
My dear host yesterday had relied on his own skills in the literary arts to snatch the Emperor’s heart~ This position was gained from your own efforts.
Please continue to work hard to convince more people to trust in you~ The galaxy’s strongest self reliant system is here at your service nee~]

Nee your fucking head.

Chen Miao Ping flipped the appointment decree over and over again, but weirdly enough he didn’t have any negative emotions towards it.
After all it was only a job, 

“Oh, then I will go tomorrow.
How much do I get every month?”

Xie Yu Zhi crossed his arms and looked at him contemplatively, 

“Not a lot.
Just enough to feed your stomach.”

Who, as an official or part of a wealthy family nowadays, did not own any private businesses? Did anyone really think that with those meager wages one could buy an estate? Could buy singers and prostitutes for leisure? Could eat fish and meat for every meal?

You could starve yourself on that instead.

Chen Miao Ping did not care about that.
He was only thinking that tomorrow would be the first step towards being self reliant and self sufficient.
And then not long after that this dumb system should release him from his contract and leave him be.
Then there would not be a greater thing in this world.

He started getting a little excited and asked Xie Yu Zhi animatedly, 

“The entire city would be under my control.
Even the brothels would be mine to manage?”

Xie Yu Zhi’s face immediately changed.
He had almost forgotten about that.

He reached out to pull Chen Miao Ping up from the chair.
Staring dangerously at him, with an emotionless face, he asked, 

“What? You want to go browse around?”

“Browsing’s not a crime,” 

Chen Miao Ping laughed a little pervertedly and reached out to pinch his cheeks, 

“If you wanted to go, you should let me know.
Tomorrow we can go together.
Since I have been born until now, I haven’t even been there once.”

A deep meaningful smile slowly spread on Xie Yu Zhi’s face.
His eyebrows flew up and his eyes took on a devilish look, when normally, even if you look closely, you wouldn’t be able to see how it could be so.
His long thin fingers clenched at Chen Miao Ping’s lower chin and he said, 

“There are a lot of places you haven’t been to yet.
Do you want to take a trip to hell?”

 

Chen Miao Ping blinked and smiled, a seductive look popping up between his eyes.
He teased, 

“I will go there one day or later, but not right now.”

Xie Yu Zhi narrowed his eyes and said, 

“Lust will be your downfall.7 If you dare go into a brothel, do you believe that I will send you to hell by tomorrow?”

Seeing that the other was really mad, Chen Miao Ping reached out to hold Xie Yu Zhi in his embrace.
He hooked his chin up and continued to say sweet words that may or may not be fake, 

“Second Master should not be worried that I will play with commoner girls.
I have sworn to the heavens before, that my heart will never change for a second…..”

“No,”

Xie Yu Zhi unexpectedly shook his head, 

“I’m only worried about you.”

This small, tiny, weak body of Chen Miao Ping.
With this kind of posture, if he enters a brothel, it would be hard to say who’s going to be the one doing who.

 

Click here to bypass all the footnotes!

Notes:
*1 Hossu: A short staff of wood or bamboo with bundled hair (of a cow, horse, or yak) or hemp as seen below

 

*2 Primus: The title of the first ranked examinee

 

*3 Elder Princess Chang Ning: Chang Ning is a title and not her actual name.
It means bright and clear, to live a long life (which usually for the imperial family, they are rarely referenced by their actual names – too “high”/special to be called by just anyone, hence why you see some novels that have the emperor/the princes telling their wives/husbands to call their name rather their title is a very sacred/shocking thing).

 

*4 Zhen Bei Hou: his title, “Zhen Bei” means the defender of the north and “hou” can be considered as Marquis

*5 Fu: As in the character 福, to have blessings for fortune, luck, etc.

 

*6 succubus: This has been westernized, but the real term is a mythological creature category that encompasses monsters, demons, to seductive creatures or like a creature that could turn into a human.
Here Chen Miao Ping is specifically implying a creature that seduces men to eat their hearts/body

*7 Lust will be your downfall: the idiom is actually much more meaningful, using the character of “color/lust” itself to describe this.
If taken literally, there is a knife on top of the character lust that plays on how the character 色 is written, which taken by itself means color or lust/pervertedness, and that knife can “drop” over your head at any time because of your lust/inability to hold it in.
It can also mean lust can lower your walls/awareness, sensitivity to danger, making it really easy to be harmed/hurt.

It supposedly comes from stories where men get their due justice when they kept females in captivity for their pleasure.
But there’s also the second phrase to the idiom that states that men fall too easily under a woman’s control.
Either way, these phrases are mostly considered as adage/passed around in commoners.