After She Left

a few days ago when those pretty lips of hers that whispered love felt so mean?

Even though harsh words were said about her that broke the hearts of everyone who heard them, he couldn’t give up on hope.

“You said you liked me.”

For a moment, the corner of her mouth, which was full of mockery, was tightly shut.

After that, there was a dull silence.
Then, as if she had second thoughts, she spoke again with a firm voice.

“Yeah, I liked you, but I knew I couldn’t be happy with such childish feelings.”

“What?”

Callisis asked, sounding confused.

Killianerisa snorted at that, and she purposefully showed it to him.
“You can’t do anything for me.
More specifically, you can’t put me in the best position because you’re not the Emperor.”

At that moment, Callisis’s heart felt like it was being crushed by a big rock.

Callisis didn’t say anything; he just looked at Killianerisa.

I had nothing to say.
She wasn’t wrong, so she had already given what she could, and, as she said, I couldn’t put her in the best position she wanted.

But, but,

She also knew the truth, right?

Callisis wanted to say that wasn’t true.

But when his lover suddenly betrayed him, Callisis was so shocked and angry that he couldn’t speak.

He was scared and mad at the same time, but he was also lonely.

‘I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.
If you were happy, I was happy, and just being by your side made me happy.

So I just wanted to make her happier all the time

I’ve already imagined thousands of things…

I can’t even think about how I would live without her.

Why do you want to leave me alone?’

Callisis clenched his fists because he didn’t know what to do with his aching heart.

At the same time, he was both angry and hurt. 

How can he say that he’s sad and wanted to yell?

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Callisis put his head down.

It was hard to think about life without her.

Because she is already in Callisis’s life.

Callisis, who had been looking at the floor the whole time, turned his head to get her to look at him.

But as soon as he looked into her eyes, he felt like giving up.

How could I talk to her when she is more determined than me?

He gave a sad smile.

Yes… he can’t live without her.

But at the same time, his honesty and love for her wasn’t enough to shake her cold heart towards him.

You won’t even listen to me.

He liked how stubborn and self-centered she was like a child.

‘So, even though I’ve always hated you, why can’t I just hate you now?’

It was really sad to see.
He could have said something angry or even begged for help, but he couldn’t.

No, I didn’t really want to.

He didn’t do anything because he didn’t want to make her sad by spitting out grudges, because he didn’t want his pleadings to weigh on her, and because he didn’t want to be remembered as a bad person in her mind.

Even though he was mad at her, he didn’t want to bother her.

He was very weak and afraid of her.
The coward finally backed away from her slowly and didn’t say anything.

His feelings, which he couldn’t express, slowly left his trembling hands. 

The coward, who didn’t know anything, muttered,

“Yeah, just like you said.
I don’t have anything to give you except my heart.”

But you wouldn’t want it.
If that’s the case, I don’t have anything to give you.

Callisis began to move, but he didn’t turn his head.
He was breathing slowly.

His steps were heavy, like he was carrying something heavy.

He swore not to see her again.

[Dear lover, I will never forgive you, no matter what happens.Also, I will keep avoiding you because you betrayed me.I will turn away from all the love and feelings I have for you, and you will do the same, even if you change your mind later.Because this is the only way I can get back at you.Wouldn't it be more fair if I did the same thing as you?]

He felt like something was stuck in my throat, but my mind was empty, as if nothing was there.

At the same time, it felt empty, as if something had been taken away.

Just like all the different feelings in his heart that used to come out every time something happened have gone away, so has anger.

Sadness, too, and love.

Callisis saw that the front of the shoe he was wearing was worn out while he was walking.

He smiled and looked sad at the same time.

‘Why were you running so fast?’

It was nothing more than a call for them to face a harsh truth.

‘What’s the hurry?’

‘Instead, I should have asked myself if I could have kept my heart for her even for a moment longer if I had moved more slowly.’

It’s pathetic.

He laughed, but his mouth felt like he had taken a pill because it’s bitter.

His steps were hard to follow, like glue had been put on his feet.

Aside from that, it was hard for him to find his heart and mind, as if something had been pulled out of them.

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He wasn’t used to being in a place that was already empty.

Callisis was scared because he didn’t know how long this feeling of emptiness would keep him up at night.

Callisis couldn’t think about anything else or even look around when he felt like that.

Because he didn’t notice,

That Killianerisa was looking at him with her eyes shaking and her hand out toward Callisis.

But that didn’t make a difference.

At the same time that she turned around, he moved and made his heart a home made of ice.

They might regret for the rest of their lives that they grew so far apart, that they didn’t try to get closer, and that they didn’t hold on to today.

But they didn’t meet until just before she died, so they don’t know what the other person thinks.

They wouldn’t ever know.

So, she died, and he never really paid attention to what she wanted to say.

Callisis slowly opened his eyes.
He had been sleeping lightly for a while without realizing it.

Darkness covered the sky, which looked like someone’s eyes… or so he thought.
Instead, a shy twilight moonlight crept down and landed on his face.

When the glimmer of light touched eyes that were used to darkness, it felt like the sun’s bright light.

He made a sad face, ruffled his hair, and stood up.

Silence created a calm tone that seemed to show sadness over someone’s death.

Even though he didn’t have any big changes in his life that day, his mood got worse.

‘I thought I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep tonight.’

Callisis slowly walked out of the office.
It was a very dark night, and everyone was sleeping.

The only sound in the empty hallway was the quiet echo of his single steps.

‘I haven’t seen that woman in a long time.’

Knowing that this wouldn’t change anything in his life and that he’s never seen her or knows anything else about her made his heart heavy again.

It’s the same as putting something like a rock, or a lump inside.

But he broke up with his lover a long time ago.

Like always, he will be back on track tomorrow.

No one will be able to hear the clumsy feelings of childhood lovers that have died out because they never grew up.

Because no one could lift the veil that Callisis used to cover it.

He won’t tell anyone what this feeling he’s having is, and he won’t talk about it again.

It’s just because today is just another day and he’s in a slightly bad mood.

At least, that’s what it seems like to other people.

Goodbye, my old love,I will stop being angry at you.You, too, don't have my sympathy because you've chosen to live the way you have.But…
just a minute.
Just for a moment, until the sun comes up, I will mourn for you.This isn't for her; it's something he wants to do for himself.

But you can’t say that I’m selfish because of this.

Because we’re no longer related.
Because we’re not close enough to each other to make each other feel better.

No tears came out, but his chest hurt like it had been hit.

 

 

I think it’s clear to us that Empress K was a real villain… imo she deserved her death because not always villains need redemptions…

But oh boy, the charm of this story— I just wanna cry.